When I was a little girl in Sunday school, a favorite children’s song went like this—
I may never march in the infantry
Ride in the cavalry
Shoot the artillery
I may never fly o’er the enemy
But I’m in the Lord’s Army
Yes Sir!
As we sung, we stomped in place; held onto pretend reins and bounced up & down; aimed little fingers like guns; stretched out our arms like wings and shouted the “Yes Sirs!” with a salute and puffed out chest. We probably looked more like drunk, midget soldiers — exaggerated & outta sync — but we were into it! Surely, our teacher saw it as a good way to burn off our sugar rush from Kool-Aid & cookies. Maybe it’d settle us down long enough to learn a little somethin’.
Bless it. 😌
I was growing up with a father who’d been in the Marines — a man of (outward) duty— responsible for making sure I was in Sunday School or a church pew every time the doors were open. Some of my best childhood memories are from the Christian camp I attended every summer in Yale, VA. During my last week at camp I was baptized in the swimming pool. I was 14. I truly believed I was doing something important, but looking back I had very little understanding and much confusion in my life, as one does at 14.
A deep appreciation for God, all things military and a love of country was hot forged into my identity. I realize that as a kid I’d paid a good bit of attention to the steady stream of passionate political rants and off-the-cuff American history speeches that were within my earshot. We were patriots! I tell ya, being the child of a Marine should qualify as service. It was tough, but I’m thankful it was. I would need it. It’s part of who I am today and I wouldn’t change that. I’ve often said that if I’d not been a mother, I’d have been a soldier. It would have suited me. I love physical challenges, order and the satisfaction of a job well done.
There was something of a rebel in me too. I chose to do my own thing in my teen and young adult years —without God. I was never opposed to Him or to anything Christian — I just wanted to do what I wanted to do and going to church to pretend like I was something I wasn’t never sat right with me.
I made a lot of bad choices during those years; things that ended up leavin’ me with an emptiness I couldn’t deny. My attempts to find satisfaction without God weren’t just futile, they were destructive to me. And that’s where God gently met me with an offer I couldn’t refuse. Well— I guess I could’ve, but from that low place, I was really listening. I realized He was the Only one who could give me what I so deeply desired — perfect love. Forgiveness was included in that of course — but my longing was for something that wouldn’t let me down. I wanted secure, safe, eternal love. That is nowhere to be found in this world. He spoke so clearly in my Spirit with nothing but compassion. I had “found the One whom my soul loves.” (See Song of Solomon 3:4) Or should I say He found me? Whatever the case, I believed Him from that moment and haven’t looked back. It was 1999.
It’s important to share that part of my testimony with Jesus because events that follow show a progression in faith and maturity that we have to understand. When we become Christians, we begin with what we know— the good, the bad and the ugly— not having it all figured out.
The Lord and I had dealt with my own sin — all I had truly been responsible for. What I’d later learn is that I also took the responsibility and consequences for the sins of others. It was what I’d learned; my conscience being trained from my earliest years to bear the weight of things that were not mine to carry. So, we are desperate for maturity and discernment — to know what is truly ours to deal with and what is not. Today, we often call this “boundaries.” We need them in every sense— physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had none.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23
In Ephesians we learn that a Christian’s warfare isn’t against flesh & blood, but against dark, spiritual forces. Jesus has already defeated sin & death, yet we still have to fight against the realm of darkness in this fallen world. Lies are the arsenal of our spiritual enemy. They’re believed and practiced by people in this world. They take captive and destroy. “The Thief” [Satan] comes only to “steal, kill and destroy.” He does this through willing people—whether they are aware of it or not. It was human beings who falsely accused, betrayed and killed Jesus, but they were acting as agents of Satan.
Just as a nation needs borders and military defense, so Christians need protection and strength against dark spiritual forces. We need lies and wolves in sheep’s clothing exposed. We need captives set free. We need to know how to use our weapon — the Word of God. We have to be aware of the enemy’s tactics. The deadliest lies creep in unnoticed, into places called “Christian.” That’s where we can be the most deeply deceived. In 2 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul explains that “Satan disguises himself as an angel of light” and his servants do the same.
To make a long and brutal war story short, it was distressing to learn that I (as a Christian) had been held captive by many half-truths from the Bible, such as false teaching about submission to authority. I had believed, defended and enabled abuses throughout my life because the very God and Bible I had followed had been twisted to oppress me under those who abuse their power. I was used more like a human shield rather than having my individual identity grown strong in Jesus Christ. Scripture was perverted in a multitude of ways to make me responsible for the evil choices of others. The suffering was brutal and the escaping even more so. But it was worth it.
“If you continue in My Word, then you are truly My disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Jesus, John 8:31-32
There was and is much false teaching to beware, but I want to share 2 of the major things that the Lord would ultimately bring clarity to and deliver me from.
First, the Christianity I learned growing up was so blurred with Nationalism that I was deeply confused about what my walk should look like. How should I operate in the world? In the church? In politics? Law or Grace? What goes where? Do the Church & State have the same purpose? It was a very tangled web that the Lord began to undo from my earliest days as a Christian. This problem within Christianity has only grown exponentially. With the church hi-jacked by politics, all eyes are blinded to the abuses happening in our own camp. The people so trained by political propaganda instead of by Jesus Christ has turned much of the church into a den of thieves. Understanding the what and why of the American Revolution would figure into my own spiritual revolution.
Second, the Christianity I learned growing up included the subjugation of all women to males. Males were not only superior to women, but women were to blame and made responsible for all that plagued men. The weight of the consequences of sin was and is largely placed on women & children. This isn’t always taught by obvious means, nevertheless, it’s ingrained in women and in the culture in a million different ways. It’s all so subtle; so seemingly good and right, but that’s what can most deeply trap us. Most of us are unaware of our vulnerable position (as I was) until we are faced with the need to stand against a male authority (as I did). I’d been completely disarmed by false teaching and didn’t know it until that time of testing. All the flaming arrows of hell attacked my weak conscience. This destroys a human being in every possible way — spiritually, mentally and physically. I could not stand until the Lord MADE ME stand. And now, just as the Apostle Paul warned in Galatians — I warn.
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”
Galatians 3:28-29
For men (especially leaders), cheap grace and license for evil choices abounds. Power is abused in a multitude of ways, big & small. There is little to no accountability or discipline. I watched it produce the grossest hypocrisy, arrogance and entitlement in men — especially the authority closest to me. Behind closed doors and swept under rugs, the abuses and hatred for women was much more blatant. Females just accept it, in the same way that many African slaves accepted that they were less than because scripture had been twisted to oppress them. Again, the battlefield is the heart, mind & soul. A person may look entirely free — like they are acting of their own volition, but when you’ve been taught to believe lies about yourself and God, you are not acting as a free person, but as one under compulsion or duty. The difference is vast. Love for God and others cannot come from a heart that is not truly free to choose it.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1
It’s ironic that the person in my life who so strongly preached the goodness of the actions of our Founding Fathers would be the very person I’d need to declare my own independence from. The founders really did pen some of the most powerful thoughts about freedom (certainly a gift from God!) and pledged their all to those principles.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all [people] are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among [people], deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security….”
The Declaration of Independence
The Founders spoke of earthly governments, but their thoughts are even moreso true in God’s Kingdom when abusive men usurp His authority in the lives of those supposedly under them. They have acted in ways deserving of the strongest revolt.
I’m now free, having declared my independence from spiritual tyranny — from the false teaching and practice in the organized church resulting in the grievous oppression and destruction of women and children — even destroying the very men guilty of abusing power without consequence. Certainly, this has all been by Satan’s design.
Where you see men living out their “headship” exerting authority over women, oppressing them with the heavy burdens of their own disobedient choices — taking away their autonomy and stripping them of their identity in Jesus Christ, we are not seeing His example.
“But Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave— just as the Son of an did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:25-28
When we see church leaders denying, covering, enabling and failing to expose gross abuses of power in their preaching and their practice — the true Head, Jesus Christ, is not in His rightful place. When the cross has been twisted to construct a spiritual gallows of sorts that destroys rather than setting free, it must be made right.
“Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.”
Benjamin Franklin
In March of 2022, I began formal training through Give Her Wings Academy to advocate for the abused in Christian communities— to be who I needed when I was weak and suffering. I completed the course last month. The combined experience and wisdom of the instructors has proved priceless to me. It has solidified my purpose in service to all that the Lord has done for me. How can I not lift up my voice for the freedom of others? How will I do that? I’m not entirely sure, but what I’m doing now is a start. Just speaking and writing the truth is critical. The rampant abuses happening are so suppressed that many within Christianity are unaware. False teachers/teaching must be exposed.
There will always be lies and wolves in sheep’s clothing to beware and expose. We won’t avoid all suffering. In fact, we must each do our own struggling and fighting. It’s just a part of maturity — of growing strong and confident in Jesus Christ, but we should never have to do it alone. And we can trust it’s worth it.
I’ve come to see that I actually am a soldier. As the Sunday School song explains— it’s a different force. I serve spiritually. Even so, it benefits this country I love in the here & now. It makes all the difference in morale when you know who ultimately wins.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33
Free indeed and fightin’ the good fight,
Jamie ✌️❤️
HOOAH! OORAH! HOOYAH!
