Picture our life with Christ as a garden with all sorts of fragrant blooms, luscious fruits and tasty vegetables, ripening in the sun. As beautiful as that image may first appear in our minds, the reality is that this place is under constant threat.Any seasoned gardener knows that a large part of growing healthy plants to maturity is not simply the watering and pruning and such of the plants themselves. Successful gardening involves warfare against a host of invaders of every shape and size.A gardener not only grows fruits and vegetables and flowers — they grow an arsenal of knowledge on how to protect their plants — fences, traps, sprays, powders, homemade concoctions… right down to hand-picking the eggs of an enemy once identified.The Biblical Hebrew word translated into the English word “garden” carries a very specific meaning. It’s a protected place. (See the highlighted entry 1588, below)And here is entry 1598 (the root word)

So, a proper garden has boundaries. It’s fenced. protected. defended.

Let’s talk about how this is applies to my life and yours…

I’ve faced all sorts of attacks over the past 19-ish years as a Christian — from within & without. I’m sure the same is true for you. Some were a result of my own sin and some were the sins of others against me. The latter is my focus for this post.

Ask yourself…

How are we to respond when our physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries are violated?

Better yet, do we even HAVE physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries?

I did not have strong boundaries, at all.

Until almost 5 years ago, I lived under the strong impression that all attacks (namely by people) were allowed by God, and were performing some disciplinary action for me from Him. Since this was the case — I had no choice but to allow it all as well. That is, I believed it was always my responsibility to absorb blame into myself. I was always, always the only one accountable before God and because of His grace to me, it was my responsibility to dismiss every offense. I was routinely manipulated by guilt, shame and fear — largely due to legalistic, distorted teaching about submission to authority and other works-oriented programs. This can be a gross trespass against our conscience — a huge boundary violation for people who are free in Christ who should no longer be under guilt, shame and fear. A great deal of suffering opened my eyes to the many lies that had me bound under such tyranny.

So, yes — my experience was in fact a disciplinary action of sorts, but not one that is at all a punishment, rather one that is a blessing that brings the unshakeable peace to my life that God promised — and Jesus Christ gave His life for.

God allows bad things to happen to His children for our good — not because He is cruel, harsh, indifferent about abuse or wanting us to suffer. But we must understand that while God is sovereign over all things, people also have a free will. They can choose evil, just as they can choose to do good. Innocent people can and do become victims every moment of every day. That is our reality in this fallen world and WE OURSELVES must learn to protect our heart, mind & souls, namely the inheritance God has provided to us through Jesus.

Some will say, “Wait a minute! God is our protector!” And to that, I would whole-heartedly agree, but one of the main ways He protects us is by empowering US to protect OURSELVES.

Let me say that again. God protects His children by maturing and empowering them IN HIMSELF in order to protect THEMSELVES.

Look again at the garden…

God provides the seed and causes all the growth, but it’s up to us to tend it and care for it. He’s not down here building a fence around it. We have to.

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom.” Song of Songs 2:15

Look in the Old Testament…

Consider that God repeatedly gave victory to the Israelites over their enemies to possess the land He had promised, but they were also required to actively engage in the fight against them. They had personal choices to make and instructions to follow. They were not merely robots to be acted upon by any and every outside force.

If we take a look back into the first garden, Satan came to the woman, having entered a snake. The Enemy is also behind every human attack, therefore, we can’t just embrace every person who claims or appears to be harmless. They may work for him (unwittingly even) to steal, kill & destroy.

Look at Jesus…

Jesus said that we would know who is false “by their fruit”. We must BE CAREFUL who we trust. Great suffering has forced me to look much more intently at the pattern Jesus gave.

Did Jesus embrace everyone? No. Did He speak graciously to everyone? No. Did He always allow every abuse against Him? No. Does grace and forgiveness quickly remove the consequences of sin? No.

There are so many variables to carefully consider before we rush to blanket gross sin and embrace people with full acceptance who have lived a life of deception, namely those who claim to be Christian, also known as “wolves in sheep’s clothing”.

There were numerous occasions that Jesus escaped those who wanted to attack & murder Him. He didn’t just allow their abuse or keep trying to inject Himself into their lives. He also never shied away from speaking harsh words to hypocritical religious leaders who themselves abused and bound the people with their own rules — only  wanting control and honor for themselves. He could’ve went into their midst and said, “Well, love covers a multitude of sins”, but that’s not how the story goes. Jesus is on record calling them a “brood of vipers” & “white-washed tombs”. He said they were of their father, the devil!

Jesus was never passive to abuse until His appointed time. And even then, we know that Jesus’ life wasn’t taken — it was given — and not to men, but to God, the Father — for men.

The words He spoke to His disciples are a clear warning as to what they would face and how they should be prepared. What we don’t read is Him telling them to allow whatever evils befall them because this is the Christian way. Instead, He said,

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.” -Matthew 10:16

Will we suffer persecution and insults? Yes. But that is only PART of the counsel of God.
He also said:

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.” -Matthew 34-38

Friends, these verses and many others like it, ALLOWED me to create boundaries in my life between myself & wolves (as well as wolf enablers and poor shepherds). This division is also a clear aid– even to the wolves — that they might recognize which side they are on and maybe escape their own destruction.

Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is DRAW A CLEAR BOUNDARY.

It was Solomon who wrote that “love covers a multitude of sins” but he also wrote that there is a time for war, a time for hate, and a time to refrain from embracing. (cf. Ecclesiastes 3)

There are so many variables involved in this subject that God alone is ultimately the only One who can lead us through each individual battle. My only desire is to share the great need for maturity, strength and wisdom to guard our freedom in Jesus Christ.

“For by wise guidance you will wage war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.” Proverbs 24:6

…growing, guarding, protecting, defending in Him, with you friends…

~Jamie =)

*For further reading, I highly recommend the book, Boundaries , by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This is one of many resources that God used to help free me from physically, emotionally & spiritually abusive relationships.